Knowing what you're capable of

Every time I hear that phrase, I think of the Viagra "Knowing what you're made of" commercial where some middle-aged guy makes his horses pull his truck, and then goes to enjoy chemically enhanced sex afterwards.  Lucky for you (and me) I'm not writing about 4 hour erections.

I've been sticking with my early runs, however painful the alarm may be.  On Thursday, the alarm went off at 4:50 (and 4:51, 4:52, and 4:54) and I laid in bed thinking about the run I was supposed to be getting up for.  My training schedule called for a 10 mile interval run, with the majority of the run at a 7:30 pace.  As I laid there groggy and exhausted, I knew that there was no way I could keep that pace up.  And if I couldn't keep the proper pace, should I even bother with the run?  I could get an extra hour and a half of sleep and still get up with time to make breakfast.

Then I remembered last years marathon, and I remembered how I surprised myself training for it.  I remembered that even on recent runs I've been able to run faster that I thought I could.  Then I remembered what I'm supposed to do:

Once I got on the road I was fine, and I realized how hard the first steps usually are.  Even though I KNEW I could run what I need to run intellectually, my body wanted to hibernate and conserve energy.  Over the next 2 years, there are going to be many days where I feel like I can't accomplish what is required of me, and it's going to be very difficult.  Not just the runs, bikes, and swims, but hearing the alarm, taking a mental step back, and knowing that I can finish this.  Every day is just a little more than the day before, and I survived that, right?

I don't need to know what pace my body is capable of.  I just need to know that I can finish what I've started, and that every time I train, I get closer to my goal.